My husband loves to go out to dinner and order drinks and dessert along with his meal. He likes to live comfortably, with no limits. He thinks he deserves it. I use to cringe and think, “Can’t you just stick to dinner, why all the extras?” But that is why we build this home candle business, so that we can have a life where we won’t have to think twice about the extras. So I needed to learn to release the fears that stand in my way and upgrade my attitude about money so we could create a life we desire. And to my husband that means ordering dessert!

I have had to change my thoughts and beliefs about money. I was living with the mentality of scarcity and that money is something that needs to be used sparingly. This can be a good thing in that we don’t have credit card debt. But I needed to find release from my limiting belief system and honor the abundance in my life. I needed to develop a new relationship with money.

Money is only a resource. It’s not good or bad. It’s just a piece of paper to which we have assigned a value. What personal value we give to money tends to be a reflection of what we regard as desirable and worthy. This value is often associated with our upbringing. Think about your most significant memory about money from your childhood. Does it result in pleasant feelings or thoughts of uneasiness?

For many, the memories play out like this -
“We can’t afford that.”
“Money controls the things I do or don’t do in my life.”
“Money doesn’t grow on tree; it’s hard to come by.”
“My purchasing decisions are primarily based upon the cost of the item.”

We tend to deal with money emotionally. Thus money means different things to different people. What is your emotional relationship with money? Do you love it, do you hate it, do you fear it?

Take some time to evaluate your money attitudes. An attitude is the “tendency, feeling, or orientation of your mind toward something.” So what is your position on money? Is it what you want it to be? Do you even know? The degree to which you don’t understand money, is the degree to which it will always be an issue for you. Billy Graham is quoted as saying, “If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life.”

You may want to journalize for a week how you react when the topic of money comes up. How does it make you FEEL?

Secure or Helpless
Successful or Limited
Empowered or Powerless
In Control or Choiceless
Confident or Anxious
Accomplished or Struggling

Did you find yourself relating to the words “helpless,” “limited,” or “anxious,” when I asked you to evaluate your money attitude? Money can be a consistent source of tension. But we need to stop thinking of it as something we always have to chase after. Do you believe that money is hard to come by? Do you think you’ll have to wait until the money flows in abundance before you’ll feel comfortable spending it?

You may need to change your thinking and shift your attitude about money. A positive relationship with money offers freedom and choices. Change how you relate to money and increase your sense of well-being, as well as your wealth.

Begin to focus your thoughts on abundance. Believe that you will always have enough of what you need. Be grateful for what you do have and don’t direct your thoughts to the money you don’t have but wish you did. That only highlights the deficiencies. Stop complaining about not having enough but rather express your appreciation for all that you do have. Empower yourself by beginning to think with an abundant mindset.

One of my favorite exercises is to carry a $100 bill in your wallet or purse and go browse the mall. Begin to look at all the things that the $100 could buy. Tell yourself, “I CAN afford that, I have a $100 in my purse.” You don’t have to actually spend it but train your mind to know that you could if you chose to. Again, it is practicing the development of a mindset of abundance and that money freely flows your way.

Author Karl Moore, states that “Money represents the value you place on things – including yourself. If money isn’t flowing as you want, look at how you value yourself.” Do you have confidence in your abilities? Do you believe you are deserving of success?

Many people dream of having money, they wish for it. But it is hard for them to break through the limiting thoughts that keep one from magnetizing all the abundance they deserve. If your underlying belief is that it will never happen to you, then it won’t. Stop thinking thoughts of lack and limitation and begin to focus on abundance in your life. Then be sure to show gratitude for that abundance (even before it arrives).

So when someone asks you, “Do you want dessert?” The resounding answer is, “Of course I do!”

Add to Onlywire

In network marketing, there are RECRUITERS and there are SPONSORS. A recruiter is defined as “someone who attempts to enroll a new member.” They introduce someone to the business opportunity and sign them up in the company. Then there are sponsors, which is defined as “a person who vouches or is responsible for a person.” We not only introduce another to the company and sign them up, but we also mentor, coach, and train, initially and throughout the team member’s career. A relationship develops between the sponsor and the sponsoree. And if you’re lucky, a friendship develops as well.

I am fortunate in that is the situation for me. My sponsor, Kathy Schneider, not only is my business partner, but has become my very good friend. She mentors and coaches me through my business life, but also my parenting and spiritual life, as well.

So what happens if you aren’t so fortunate to find this kind of relationship? This week the leaders on my team have been discussing the issue of absentee sponsors. What if you were brought into your company by a recruiter rather than a sponsor? Are you doomed to failure?

No! The structure of multi level marketing assures this does not have to happen. When you join a MLM company, you join a whole team and not just one person. If you have an absentee recruiter, don’t make excuses or blame them for your lack of attempts at success. You have the ability to go upline to seek support and training. That simply means you have the chance to work with your sponsor’s sponsor or even their sponsor. Continue to go upline until you find someone that you connect with, someone that is willing and capable of giving you the coaching that you need, and deserve.

So how do you deal with the feelings of abandonment you may feel when your recruiter isn’t available to help you grow your business? It is easy to think, “You got me into this, you should get me through it.”

Or how about the feeling of resentment? Your success in your own business will most definitely benefit them. The better you do in growing your business, the more money you’ll put in their pocket. So you may feel that it is not fair to support your recruiter’s bottom line when they don’t support you.

So you ultimately have two choices –

As author Tom Clancy says, “Fix your eyes forward on what you can do, not back on what you cannot change.”

I believe that many difficult situations can be made better simply by shifting the perspective we choose to take. I asked my leaders to coach those downline on their team in this situation to be ‘grateful’ for the introduction to the business by their recruiter rather than being resentful.

I thought the situation was analogous to a friend that introduces them to a person that becomes their spouse. You would be glad for the connection that friend helped create. However, that person doesn’t continue to ‘be involved’ in the new marriage. The new couple has extended family that does get involved and supports them. And that is what a network marketing team is – an extended family.

There are many distributors who did not have the full support of those that brought them into their company, but found immense success despite that. When you see the big picture and can appreciate what you have before you, you won’t play the blaming game, you won’t stay in resentment (although it may seem you have every right to). Instead, you’ll seek out what you need either in your upline, in your company or in the industry.

One of my favorite sayings is, “No excuses! Just make it happen.”

Many families struggle to make ends meet on only one income these days. So you would think the addition of some employment income would help the family finances right? Well, maybe not. By the time you remove Federal and State income taxes, Social Security withholdings, then add on the additional expenses of commuting to a job, childcare, the increase in spending on eating meals out and professional clothing, that additional income doesn’t amount to much at all. And worse, those expenses are non deductible as an employee.

The biggest expense we have is typically not our mortgages, our car payments, or our grocery bills. In fact, it is our tax bill. So is there a legal way to cut our tax obligation? Yes, IF … you have a small home based business.

Small businesses create about 70% of the job growth in the United States, so Congress rewards those small businesses with tax laws that benefit business owners … that includes home based business owners.

Are there advantages of starting a home based business over getting a part time job? Absolutely because many of our expenses are now deductible as a business owner. This is the best way to get your tax obligation down to the legal minimum.

You’ll want to check with your accountant to see if any of these expenses could become deductible as a result of having your own home based business:
• automobile expenses, such as mileage
• educational and training materials and seminars
• marketing and advertising, including business opportunity leads
• travel expenses, such as airline tickets, hotel and rental car
• office supplies
• postage
• internet and cellular phone service
• professional membership dues
• small equipment, such as computers and fax machines
• meals and entertainment with potential customers and business partners

Do you have to make a profit in your home business to be able to take these deductions and reduce your taxes? No. It may take a few years to get your home based business to a substantial earning level. You simply have to show you are making an honest effort to conduct a successful business with the expectation of earning a profit.

It doesn’t matter if you are working your business full time or only part time, but that you are working your business and not just participating in a hobby. Proper and consistent documentation of your business activities is essential. Keep all your receipts and your appointment calendars so that you may show that you have effectively engaged in business over the year.

Because your expenses are now deductible, you can offset any of these business losses against any other income you or your spouse have from an employer … which could potentially lower your income level, which could potentially mean less taxes. Less taxes means more money in your pocket!

So not only does a home business offer the advantages of
• no boss
• no employees
• no commute
• no restrictions on income potential
• and no placing your children in daycare

– it also offers substantial tax benefits. You will no longer dread April 15th!

Paige and Shalynn

I forget sometimes how my five year old plays at my feet while I work my business … until I hear her say something that reminds she does.

Today as she was getting dressed, she asked me when we would be visiting Paige in Texas again. Paige is the daughter of my sponsor and good friend, Kathy Schneider. The girls have only met once in person about a year and a half ago. But a special bond was formed between our families when we vacationed together in South Padre Island.

One of the huge side benefits of my home business is the friendships I have made. They will endure well beyond the realm of our businesses.

Paige had recently asked her mom when Shalynn would be visiting again, cause she wanted to ‘play school’ with her. So something triggered that thought in Shalynn this morning while preparing for preschool and she said something very interesting to me.

She said, “I can’t wait for Paige to teach me, then I will teach Lauren, and then Lauren can teach Katie, I think that is how it works best.” I had a good laugh and thought, “Now, that is the child of network marketer!” I couldn’t agree more with her. I like that concept too.

Now if I hear her using words like comp plan and residual income, I’ll know for sure her little ears are listening!

People will tell you that network marketing is all about self development. That the more you learn, the more you earn. The more you apply what you’ve learned, the faster your business grows.

I am reminded today, how those business lessons, not only make me a better business professional, but a better person, a more patient person, in ALL areas of my life.

I am thankful that I have the knowledge of what it takes to succeed – in business. Cause I am finding myself HAVING to apply many of the same things I coach about to my own fitness routine. I am finding myself saying similar things that some of my business partners tell me –
“It’s not working.”
“I am putting in the time but I don’t see the results.”
“How come it is easier for that woman?”
“If this doesn’t start happening soon, I’ll have to quit.”
“Why do I have to go outside my comfort zone?”
“I’d rather just be at the end result rather than do the work to get me there.”

As I was working up a sweat this morning and pumping those muscles, I had to laugh at the realization of how similar my plight in my new exercise routine is to what new business partners sometimes experience.

After struggling with not seeing the immediate fitness results I want, I thought to myself, “This is no different than building a successful business. Success doesn’t come overnight, it takes consistency, a drive to never give up, a dedication to do the tasks over and over again, without looking at the immediate results at this point.”

In my business, I grow the most when I get outside my comfort zone, when things are a little uncomfortable, when I am willing to take it one step further. Just as it should be with my exercise routine. Sometimes I ’show up’ to do the work and no doubt that IS the most important part. But if I just casually walk through the motions, without stretching myself both physically and mentally – learning a little more, pushing it a little farther, success won’t be as assured or as fast as I’d like.

It sure is easy to embellish the actual facts too. I FEEL like I have been working at this exercise thing for so long now and can’t understand why it’s not working. But if I am honest with myself and look at the reality of it, things are a little different than I first want to claim. It hasn’t been that long and although my effort has been good, it has not always been consistent, nor at the optimum level.

Just as some of my business partners come to me and state, “I have been doing this for a long time now and it just doesn’t work. I have tried everything.” When pushed to examine the facts, reality often presents a different picture than we first thought.

Four or five months of inconsistent effort is just not enough to see results, you’re just getting started. It’s always hardest at the beginning, when you are out of practice, limited in your knowledge, haven’t hit your groove yet. It takes repeated daily action steps, repeated consistency.

So as I think to myself, “Is this exercise thing worth it, is it ever gonna pay off?” I laugh and say, “Of course it is … you just have to give it enough time. You have to be honest with your effort and be willing to wait it out, patiently, until the results start coming. And if you quit now, you’ll never see the results you want.”

So thank goodness I have learned from my business to be consistent, to be honest with my efforts, to do the tasks that matter most, and to push it one step further so that I can close the gap between where I am and where I want to be. Now I can successfully apply what I know to my exercise routine as well.

As with anything in life, a career in network marketing can and will encounter some challenges, speed bumps, especially in the early years of developing your business. Even if you come in with huge confidence and belief that you have selected the right product, the right company, and the right sponsor / team. Inevitably though, there will be moments when you will question your decision.

I have business partners come to me for coaching when they feel the success they expected isn’t readily coming their way. They’ll explain to me that they are doing what they have been taught to do, yet they keep encountering obstacles. They experience a gap between where they are and where they want to be. This creates doubt and uncertainty and this fear and confusion can sabotage their dreams … if they let it.

So what happens when these obstacles occur over and over? Questioning does. Questioning their decision to start the business. Questioning whether to continue the business. They can begin to question whether they ARE in the right place. They start to ‘read’ the challenges as a ’sign’ that they should quit, that they are doing the wrong thing, are on the wrong path.

The obstacles are often seen as rejection and rejection is hard to take, whether it’s a potential business partner telling you they have decided not to join your business or a show that didn’t produce the sales you had anticipated. Some take these challenges as rejection of the product, the company or worse yet, themselves.

During my coaching, I pose the question to my partners – “Do you think maybe you are being tested instead? Is your commitment to yourself, to your dreams being tested – to see how bad you want it?”

Success doesn’t come without some level of struggle, without some level of sacrifice, without an expenditure of resources — your time and money.

I believe you aren’t given a dream without the means to accomplish it. So before ‘all is given’ to you, are you being tested to see if you are in it for the long haul?

God wants to give you your heart’s desire, but you have to be a partner in the journey. He’s ready to give a lot but maybe wants to know you are coming along for the full ride. Those to whom much is given, much is expected. The expectation is that to reap the rewards, you’ll have to do the work. It IS, after all, Net WORK Marketing.

I advise my business partners to take each challenge and learn from it. Nothing is ever a failure. There will be a lesson within every obstacle. I believe sometimes success is delayed until you are ready to receive it.

I personally experienced this with my first leadership promotion. I thought I was ready to reach this new level of achievement, but it wasn’t quite coming my way as fast as I’d of liked. Then a peer had made a comment that made a huge difference for me. She said, “We aren’t ‘given’ levels of leadership until we have learned enough, experienced enough to take on this important role of responsibility.”

It didn’t mean that I wouldn’t be a good leader. But I would be an even better leader when the timing was right… when I had learned my lessons. I am a better leader, a more empathetic leader, today because I have personally experienced many of the same obstacles that my downline will face. I know better how to coach someone when I’ve been there myself.

But we have to view each obstacle, not as a failure and a sign / indicator we should quit. But rather see each as a stepping stone that moves us up on the path, moves us closer to success.

One of my favorite songs is a “Better Life” by Keith Urban. Not only does it get me through my exercise workouts, but it also gets me through any obstacles that make me question my decision to remain on my path toward success. Read the words and see if they will help you move through the ‘tests’ you are experiencing.

Success really is just ordinary people having extraordinary determination. Is it a test, who knows. But the only way to fail the test is to quit. So be sure that YOU PASS the test.

So what happens when you press through the obstacles, the things that seem like a test? A BETTER LIFE!

Last night I watching an older recorded episode of ‘Celebrity Apprentice’ and was exhausted by the drama displayed. Yeah, I know it’s TV — it’s SUPPOSE to be intense and high drama, that’s what sells. But it is REALITY TV - and I do believe it was a good look into the corporate mentality of ‘eat or be eaten.’

These were TEAM members that were manipulating and conniving, going behind each other’s backs in an attempt to discredit, not only the competition, but also their partners. This creates an environment of mistrust and fear. Can this really foster the most creativity from an individual? Can one really achieve their potential in such an uncooperative arena?

Everyone is out for themselves. It doesn’t appear that it matters if the way you get to the top is to step on those working with you. The lies that get told to the boss to make yourself look good and to defame your partners, is unbelievable.

Donald Trump stated, “Every day is a fight. Every day I am ready to do battle. You do what it takes to succeed.” There were implications that espionage and sabotage were normal and accepted means of doing business.

From my own experience in the work world, I was often confused by the misuse of power and the demand for respect by management. Everything in that corporate reality seems to be backwards to me. Instead of recognizing and utilizing the talents of the workers to move the whole company forward, I saw attempts to discredit employees because of the threat that was perceived by the boss. I think in this environment, management is always having to wonder if someone else is more capable of doing the job. As fear is always present, the boss sees the achievements of others as a potential threat to their own positions. So attempts are made to squash, rather than raise up employees.

Now let me tell you about my REALITY … my network marketing business. We have an incredible work environment -
one of
TEAMWORK
RESPECT
RECOGNITION
APPRECIATION
CONSIDERATION
COOOPERATION

We know that we ALL achieve more when we work together. When I give of my talents and my resources, my team achieves more. When they achieve more, I achieve more. Without my team’s success, my success is doomed. I have nothing to gain when I demand respect, manipulate my partners, steal their ideas, or punish them for achieving out of my own fear.

NO, on the contrary. I can CELEBRATE the team’s achievements. I am not threatened by their accomplishments. No, I honor them. Instead of taking from them, I desire to GIVE to them. The more I give, the more I receive. I am sure you have heard the brilliant quote from Zig Ziglar, “You can have anything you want if you help enough people get what they want.” No where is that quote are the words ’sabotage’ and ‘demoralize your partners.’

I have to believe when one is honored and respected, they are willing to go above and beyond to create success, not only for themselves, but for the company as a whole. Appreciation brings out the best in people, their talents and contributions shine. I know when we recognize and acknowledge desired and productive behaviors, we see more of the same.

Now, as my boss, if you punish me for a creative idea or are threatened by my performance, how likely do you think it will be that I’ll be willing to contribute again in the future? How far outside my comfort zone will I take my desire to see the company succeed, if the risk to me is too high?

After watching the show, as simply a viewer, I was exhausted and defeated. I can’t imagine going to work every day having to put on my boxing gloves. My home based business rejuvenates me, energizes me, and exhilarates me. I feel lifted up and not beaten down.

So this is the part where I get to tell you how extremely grateful and appreciative I am that my reality is different!

While listening to Michael Clouse at the gym today during my workout — I heard him make an interesting comment.

Could the “company police” convict you of being a user of your products? If one comes into your home, do they SEE, that yes indeed, you represent your company well? Is it obvious to your visitors which products you sell?

You MUST be a user of your products. How can you expect customers to buy your products and get excited about them, if YOU don’t use them.

Your home should not contain any competing products. Don’t let others question your integrity and commitment to your products and your company.

Are you guilty as charged?

If not, WHY NOT?

Change –
It can paralyze us from moving into necessary and desirable action.
Or we can be rejuvenated by the possibilities to come as a result of it.
Which do you tend to do?

Why do some believe that change inevitably means something worse? Can it be that change may actually bring something BETTER into your life, if you’ll just embrace it and move with it?
Which belief do you hold?

Okay, to be honest, I tend to initially fear change and erroneously think that it means that things can’t be as good as they are now. It’s one of those things I have to work on constantly and consciously recognize that I have an issue with change, whether that be within my professional life or my personal life.

At times, being in the comfort zone, the status quo (the existing condition or state of affairs), can seem so much less stressful. Even though the present situation may cause stress, THAT stress seems to be LESS stressful than having to make a move to the unknown, simply because it feels secure and familiar. So is staying in a bad situation ‘better’ than the fear that comes with not knowing what the future brings. I think often times, the answer is yes.

I know it was for me at one time. I am reminded of when it was necessary for me to make a change in my employment with a company that I had been with for twelve years. I didn’t really want to leave my job; I loved the clientele and the staff I worked with. That length of time in one place made for a pretty big comfort zone – I was confident and skilled in my abilities to mentor others. So even as the managerial environment became unbearable, I still questioned whether I needed to make a profound change in my professional career.

I didn’t know what lie ahead for me. Would a career change inevitably mean something worse? After all, I had spent twelve years in a specialized behavioral mentoring program. I wasn’t looking forward to starting all over in another field. In those early days, I have to admit, I didn’t “Delight in the Possibilities” of what was to come for me.

Do you tend to overanalyze and think the worst, thus stubbornly resisting change? Do you find yourself losing out on great opportunities and think that others have success because they got ‘lucky’? Or is it more likely that others see the world as an ever evolving and dynamic one these days? That they expect change, accept change as natural, and quickly adapt to it?

Could it be simply a way of thinking about our DEFINITION of change? Can we alter our belief that change means a gain, rather than a loss? Wow, how powerful would that be! Wouldn’t you be eager to, not just wait for change to happen, but actually pursue it if you were confident in thinking that you will have a greater benefit as a result of making the change?

While I was in angst about my career move, those closest to me, both fellow co-workers and family, assured me I would look back one day and not only be extremely pleased that I confronted my fear and left secure employment, but that I would actually regret that I hadn’t done it years earlier.

Well, seven years later, I can assuredly give them the satisfaction of saying, “I told you so.” I am in total agreement, now, that it was the best decision I ever made. I didn’t lose, but rather gained, immensely, by embracing the change instead of being fearful of it. Today, I am living my dream of owning my own successful home business. I am doing exactly what is my passion … mentoring others to success.

I believe that UNEXPECTED change creates the most stress for us. It is hardest when we feel we had no control over the change we are forced to make. It is when we get too locked into, “This is the way it is suppose to be,” that we end up feeling, “Why did they do this TO me?” We then fall into the victim mode and begin to blame others for our circumstances.

We tend to be so fearful of change that we keep doing what is comfortable, but eventually find we don’t get the results we want. So we work at the SAME things, only doing them harder, faster, and longer. Discouragement, despair, and frustration are common outcomes of this mode of operation. And we absurdly wonder why things don’t improve for us, why we don’t find the success we crave. So maybe it’s time we found a NEW way of doing things, moving us to a new level. Because life moves fast these days, if we don’t adapt and move with it, we’ll be left behind, mystified by our lack of accomplishment.

Change can produce anxiety and make us question ourselves and our abilities, simply because it is different from what we are accustom to. It can be challenging to move to new levels of achievement. But if we keep in mind the reward we are after, the fear won’t paralyze us and prevent us from making the move.

Sometimes we might think that it would be better to go back to the way things were, not necessarily because they were better, but because it was familiar and comfortable. This is where faith comes in to play. Our hope and desire for something better will move us past the fear, if we keep in mind what we have to gain, rather than what we have to lose. It was because of my aspirations that I was able to overcome my fear of quitting a full time job in order to begin a home business.

So much of success is a result of what we believe – because our beliefs direct our thinking and our thinking directs are actions or behaviors. I am choosing to believe that change is a good thing, that my life will be enhanced by movement to a new level. I believe that I’ll be rewarded when I move past the fear of the unknown and step into my greatness.

You have often heard I am sure, that a failed circumstance may actually be a blessing in disguise. “Always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us.” ~~ A.J. Cronin

So I ask you, “What do you need to let go of and what do you need to move on to?
Will YOU embrace the change or fear it?”

In my last post, “How Not to Prospect,” I wrote about how some in the multi level marketing industry didn’t DO IT RIGHT. Today, I wanted to share another experience I recently had. But this time it’s a very positive experience of prospecting from someone, outside the MLM industry, who exhibited very effective marketing skills.

As a reward for my promotion, I decided to join a fitness center. (Remind me to do a post on the importance of rewarding yourself for achieving your goals.) As part of my ‘orientation’ to the club, I was to receive a complimentary personal training assessment from a gentleman named Scott. First, let me say, “Ugh, I am not very fit. But all that is about to change!”

Secondly, I had the most amazing experience during my consultation. This personal trainer blew my socks off with his interpersonal and marketing skills. We obviously are in different industries, he fitness and I candles. But really we are both in the business of developing relationships and educating others on our respective services. So it was ironic that the very skills I use when talking to business opportunity seekers, were the same skills he used with potential training partners.

When I meet with prospective business partners, my goal is to help them identify the problem they have and show them how what I have, in terms of product or opportunity, can solve that problem for them. Well, this was Scott’s goal as well. As I begin my communication with leads, I like to determine if they have any previous experience with a home based business. Similarly, Scott was interested in my previous health history and fitness knowledge base.

If a lead has had a prior business, I like to then determine what worked for them, what did they find success with? And on the other side too, what did they find that was the most challenging for them and thus blocked them from the success they were after? So as you can imagine, Scott and I talked about my fitness history, both my successes and my challenges. I recalled how I was in great shape before the birth of my daughter, but that the last four years were not good for establishing a fitness routine. My challenges revolve around the limited time I have to get to the gym.

In order to get to know a business seeker better, I then like to inquire as to what they’d like a home business to do for them. What are their goals and what are they looking to achieve? Scott very early asked me what my fitness goals were, what was I looking to achieve with my new club membership? He wrote these goals down. This way he wasn’t making assumptions about what HE thought I needed, but rather could operate off of what I determined for myself that I needed.

So we discussed my problem areas: lack of endurance, fatigue, weight gain, loss of muscle tone, and my family history of heart failure. He was then able to show me how his personal training services could help me solve those problems. He inquired whether I thought I could achieve my desired results on my own, based upon my previous experience, my fitness knowledge, and motivation level. Ha, that’s where I had to laugh. Obviously that was not happening, as I had let my fitness go for the last four years, while growing and nurturing both a young child and a young business. He then asked if it would be more likely that I would achieve my goals with the assistance of a coach / trainer, who did have the ability to show me the way through the process.

I often encounter people who want a change in life but don’t have the experience, knowledge or motivation to pull it off by themselves. That is when it is advisable to enlist the services of a coach / trainer; whether it be a personal fitness trainer or a home business coach, like myself. We teach that in order to find success, you should follow the lead of others who have already arrived at what you want to accomplish. It’s teachers in life that move us to the next level of success.

So once we determine what we need, personally or professionally, we need to lay out an action plan. Scott was able to show me how his training services would help me achieve what I had already indicated I wanted.

When I wasn’t ready to close the deal and showed resistance, he gently took me back to what I expressed to him. “You told me you wanted to lose weight, increase your endurance, and tone up. If you continue to do what you are doing now, will you get to where you want to be?” Oh, boy, I think I’ve used that statement with prospective business partners.

When I started in on the excuses, “Yeah, I WANT to BUT I am not sure where in my schedule I would find time to meet … BUT I am not sure I can afford a personal trainer … BUT I have to give more time to my children and my business, than I do to myself… Fill in the blank with any ole objection. We all hear them from business seekers. I was being no different with Scott. I gave him my laundry list of obstacles, which mostly revolved around my time limitations. He reminded me how I had worked hard for four years to build my business to a level that WOULD afford me more time. Remember that is what multi level marketing was for … for building TIME leverage. Right, an “Aha Moment.” And his schedule was flexible, and he would work around what I needed.

By Scott getting me to express out loud what could possibly hold me back, he was able to effectively demonstrate how we could over come each obstacle. He showed me the value of having good health and what price could you put on that. When the larger package didn’t seem to fit into my idea of what I had to budget for the health club, he showed me another option. Now I had to agree that was doable and not as expensive as I had originally preconceived.

Boy, he was making it as easy on me as he could. Just as I express to my possibility thinkers, he was expressing to me, “If I can show you a way that these obstacles can be solved, would there be any reason why you wouldn’t want to get started in making the changes in your life that you expressed was your desire?” Wow, I had to giggle and even shiver a bit at what I was experiencing. The very words I use in my coaching business were coming back at me. He was making a lot of sense, of course, he was talking my language!

Scott then said to me, “I want you to sell yourself on this. I want you to be completely comfortable with moving forward.” Oh boy, did I know the power of making the decision for one’s self and how others “selling you” will never result in success.

By now I understood what my fitness goals were, the value of a personal trainer and coach, knew I could afford it, and was assured he would work around my schedule. But I was still expressing, “Yes, I see the need to do this and I WILL, but … later.” He asked me to be honest with myself, “If you walk away from the opportunity today to begin rebuilding your health, with your busy life style of being a full time mom and business owner, will you be motivated enough to come back to it later?” So one more time the words I have learned in my network marketing business came back at me, “Cathy, if not today, when?”

Now this was giving me goose bumps. As a home business coach working with people looking at my candle business, I totally understood how someone could lay out for you their desire to make a change in their life, expressed their goals, were shown how the obstacles could be overcome so that they could find success, and yet, they still sit on the fence.

So when Scott asked me one last time, “How much do you think not being out of breathe when you walk the stairs, having less fatigue to be able to take your business to the next level, having more assurance that you are doing all you can to counter your family history of heart disease is worth?” I had to agree it was priceless and that there was no better day than TODAY to make the changes I knew I needed to make to find success in my fitness life. So I was all in. Scott became my personal trainer.

So here I had accidentally found someone with incredible marketing skills and the ability to show a need and a solution to a potential client. So guess what my next move was, besides to start exercising? It was to show Scott my business proposal to give him a better understanding of what I do with my business coaching and ask that if he knew anyone that exhibited the same skills he so successfully used with me, to send them my way .

This morning I was sitting by our gorgeous Christmas tree, burning a candle, and having my coffee while every one was still sleeping. I was just enjoying the beauty of the quiet and the season.

I was just beginning to answer an email from my mother to my four year old daughter asking her what she wanted from Santa for Christmas. I began telling her how surprised I was when my daughter spent only a few minutes on Santa’s lap and then promptly jumped down, only to ask Santa what HE wanted for Christmas. I think this took him by surprise, as he bent over to get eye to eye with her as she stood in front of him and proceeded to have another five minute conversation with her about his hopes for the season. It was pretty precious.

As I was recalling this memorable moment to her grandmother, my daughter came out of bed, a little blurry eyed and fog headed, to sit beside me in the quiet. I asked her to recall what Santa told her when she asked him his desires for Christmas. Today’s recollection was a little different from the one she told immediately after her conversation with the Big Red Guy. That day she told me he wanted “world peace and for all the children in the world to be happy and safe.” That was her summation of their five minute conversation.

But today this is what she said. I hope you enjoy this retelling of the Christmas story in the words of a little four year old girl.

“Santa wants joy for the kids, to be nice, and sleeping so he doesn’t see any kids awake, because Santa knows much of the stuff like God. God knows everything. When God went to Bethlehem, He lived there in a straw bed of hay. Mary wanted a new baby and she loved baby God. When the baby Jesus was born, He loved Mary.

The life of Jesus is His heart inside of all the kids. This is what Santa wants. Santa and God are friends. I want the whole world of kids and kids and kids to be very glad that God and Santa are friends.”

I, like my daughter, wish YOU all a very MERRY and BLESSED CHRISTMAS!!

Recently, I had the experience of becoming a “lead,” an apparent business opportunity seeker. This gave me greater insight into what prospective business partners may go through and the importance of using high quality lead programs. As a temporary member of the other side, I really appreciate now “How Not to Prospect.”

First, let me say I have NO idea how my name was placed onto a list for representatives from ten different companies to contact me about my “supposed” interest in a home based business. And those were only the ones that called me. Who knows how many tried to contact me through email with their opportunity and ended up in the trash. So believe a lead when they say they didn’t request any information. Don’t argue with them and try to convince them that “Yes, you must have or your name wouldn’t be on my list.” I know I absolutely did not click an ad or fill out a form to request information about a business, from home or otherwise.

And as I am an internet marketer, I am fully aware of the games and tricks that unscrupulous lead companies use to gather contact information of unsuspecting people. So I assured them as well, I did not click on a banner ad trying to win a free iPod, computer, or a trip to Bermuda.

So I now have been in the shoes of someone who gets contacted over and over again by representatives far more interested in their own agenda than trying to meet my needs. I was shocked at the number of the callers who totally disrespected me and my explanation that, “No, I had not requested information.” Not one really took the time to even listen to me. I got responses like, “Are you sure you didn’t fill out a form, did you fill out a contest entry to win something? I also experienced a full blown “I can’t breathe until I have thrown up all over you with my 15 minute script,” where it was necessary for me to hang up on the man. He didn’t care that I just told him I was not interested, he had a job to do and that was to fully inform me of what his company did, what I would receive, how crazy I would be not to want what he had. My head was spinning; he was throwing out so many numbers so fast I didn’t know if I was to pay $400 or $5,000 to get started.

A few were courteous enough to ask me what company I represent when I informed them that I already have a home business. But none of them pursued this avenue to determine if I was satisfied with my present situation or if I was open to adding something new. Even if only for their own educational purposes in order to learn about a “competitor” in the home business market.

These callers didn’t use the techniques I teach my organization. They didn’t ask questions encouraging me to open up in conversation with them. I really felt as if not one representative that contacted me, cared at all about me and my needs and how those needs could be met with their product or business opportunity.

After being called five times, I began to get curious what lead source they were all using. As an internet marketer who uses lead programs on occasion, I wanted to know which company had obtained my information under “false pretense” and then sold it no less than ten times. Well, not one was able or willing to disclose from whom they had purchased their leads.

Some were willing to inform me that they would remove me from their database, and I wouldn’t be contacted by that particular company again but there was no way for me to “opt out of” the master list. I have been in this situation trying to explain to an angry person that no, in fact, I hadn’t contacted them ten times, that all the callers were from different companies and as representative of only one, there was no way for me to remove them entirely and guarantee they would not receive any further communication on the subject of home businesses.

So that made me very grateful that I know the source of the business opportunity leads I generate for my candle business. They come through the search engines or our own advertising efforts, where I know I am not competing with nine other company reps to present my opportunity. These are the best and most qualified leads; those that come specifically to me asking to be contacted for more information about my business in particular.

And when we do use a lead source, we work only with reputable companies who don’t incentivize their leads. This is when they obtain and place people’s names on a home business opportunity seekers list when the person simply thinks they are going to win something free.

As well, we are willing to pay more per lead to have an exclusive or semi-exclusive opportunity to present our business, as opposed to being only one of five or more representatives who will be contacting the possibility thinker. You know the old saying, “You get what you pay for” really applies when purchasing leads. I may pay only a buck a lead, but then I will be competing with many others for this same potential partner. How open do you think I was to hear about ANY business after the eighth, ninth, tenth phone call? Even if I may have had an interest in that tenth business, I was no longer open to hearing about it after nine others had called and didn’t show any interest in me.

I believe every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow. This gave me a chance to see the “techniques” being used and an opportunity to review my own practices when prospecting and training and coaching others to do the same. I teach my organization to RESPECT the opportunity seeker and to ASK QUESTIONS about what they are seeking to find in a home business. And most importantly, to LISTEN to what they are hearing from the lead. What is it that they want to achieve with their own business? How can I help them to accomplish that with what I have to offer them?

We have all heard that network marketing is a relationship based business. My husband recently asked me, “Shouldn’t an opportunity seeker sign up with the first person that introduces them to a company?” I use to think so, but knowing what I know now, my response was “No.” As Michael Clouse teaches, a lead needs to “Know you, Like you, and Trust you.” And now with my recent experience of being a lead, I can honestly say, I didn’t like or trust any of those that contacted me with their opportunity. Yes, maybe a relationship would have developed had I expressed more interest in pursuing their business opportunity. However, I could tell at least in this initial communication, they were not genuinely interested in me but had their own agendas in mind.

So I feel blessed to have an organization that understands the value of having a high quality lead system in place that is easily duplicatable; even by the brand new person. And that they know HOW to talk to business opportunity seekers. So the negative experience I had only reinforces my desire for a positive experience for each person exploring my home business opportunity.

As we have a major advertising campaign kicking off, I needed to prepare my marketing materials today. So I took my work with me to my daughter’s dance class. We aren’t able to watch the girls dance. Have you ever watched four four year olds try to pay attention to the teacher while the parents are present, ha, not much gets accomplished. So we have to sit in the lobby. This gives me a great opportunity to work, without a little four year old tugging on me with her needs.

Number one business advice - take advantage of every free moment like this. This gives me forty-five minutes to accomplish something with my business. Usually I read or listen to training materials on my mp3 player. I love this uninterrupted, quiet time to enhance myself and my business. Cause I assure you with a preschooler around, I don’t get much time to read at home. So I capitalize on these moments.

But today, I needed to prepare scent samples to mail out with my marketing materials. This consists of crushing up a votive candle and placing a small amount of candle wax into a little zip lock baggie. I tell you there is not a better place to do this task than in public. It creates such curiosity and an opportunity for others to ask me what it is I am doing. Now the best place to do this is not just any ole public place, but one where children are present.

No doubt the adults are wondering what IS it that I am doing, but many are too reserved to ask. But CHILDREN are not. They have no problem approaching me and simply asking, “What’s that?” As I was describing to a young boy that it was candle wax, I was able to hand him and his mother one of the scent samples to smell.

Another mother passing by asked me if my candles had lead wicks. When I said, “No, only cotton,” she proceeded to ask me for a business card. I love a business where potential customers ASK ME for more information!

Natural conversation ensued when I informed them the scent was one of my favorite Christmas scents. One mother commented on how neat a business a candle business would be at this time of year. I had to agree with her (smile). As I was describing how I did all my Christmas shopping from my own inventory and how everyone on my list was getting one of our new hand lotions and bath and body bars, I was able to let her try the lotion I had in my purse.

Number two business advice. ALWAYS have business cards and samples with you. In about five minutes, I ended up handing out three business cards with my scent samples and educating them on my home business. The women were thrilled to receive this information and indicated they would be checking out the website to learn even more.

This is what we call life styling your business. I was simply working my way through one of my business tasks on my To Do List. So not only did I get to cross off that task as being done, but I also introduced my business to three new people.

So take advantage of these times of waiting for the children during an activity, work on a task that will get attention and potentially have others asking you about your business, and have materials with you that they can take with them.

I love these quotes as I am reminded of the importance of giving thanks and being grateful for what we have in our lives … not only on this day but throughout the year.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Melody Beattie

“Remember, if you are criticizing, you are not being grateful. If you are blaming, you are not being grateful. If you are complaining, you are not being grateful. If you are feeling tension, you are not being grateful. If you are rushing, you are not being grateful. If you are in a bad mood, you are not being grateful.” Rhonda Bryne

In the early days of my candle business, it was not always an easy journey. But the thing that kept me going most was my Gratitude Journal. It is easy to focus on the negative, complain or get in a bad mood when one doesn’t have immense and immediate success.

So I began to write down five things for which I was grateful for while working my business each day. Some days I was able to journalize about a new business partner or a repeat customer order. But honestly, there were other days that it was a real stretch to find SOMETHING to include in the journal. I began to find joy in the fact that a prospective partner didn’t hang up on me and took the time to at least allow me to share the reason for my call.

Realigning my focus to see the good things that were transpiring in my business was very powerful. The early steps of success were very small, and I had to consciously look for the growth both within my business and me personally. The successes were there, but I had to look for them and be grateful for them, no matter how small they were some days.

Eventually the successes began to far out weigh the down falls and it was hard then to choose ONLY five things for which I was grateful on a daily basis. The more I expressed my gratitude, the more I had to be grateful for.

And today, I am extremely blessed to have a home business that gives me the flexibility to determine my hours and the ability to earn a full time income working part time so that I can be a full time mom to my children. I am so thankful for all that I have in my life!

Happy Thanksgiving!!